Monday, January 19, around 8 PM
I am an asshole. I am a dork. I am the world's dorkiest boyfriend of the world's most beautiful, most perfect princess. God. Seriously. I am such a loser, I don't even deserve to have a girlfriend, let alone the most beautiful and perfect one.
Why did I leave a message? Why? Why not just hang up when the machine picked up, like I usually do? I felt so stupid.
"Uh, hi, Mia?"
Uh, hi yourself, Loser!
"Yeah, it's Michael."
No shit!
I'm dying inside. Dying from the shame and humiliation of it all. I just miss her voice, MISS HER, so much and I want her to call me and reassure me that she isn't dead or maimed somewhere. What is happening to me? My head is going crazy. I've never been like this before. I'm acting like.... like MIA!!!!
Will I ever get the hang of this having-a-girlfriend thing?
Is she mad at me or something?
All right, Moscovitz, you have to get a hold of yourself. Stop typing in your journal and go play Doom or something. That is an excellent idea. Nothing like Doom to relax the nerves and clear the head!
12.23.2010
12.16.2010
Ruth and Morty are really into their tai chi
Sunday, Jan. 18, home
My parents started doing tai chi last year and now they are back at it. Their tai chi class meets on Sundays for some reason. Lilly met Tina at Tina's parents apt, which is just a few blocks from us, to work on Lilly Tells It Like It Is. So I had the place to myself for most of the afternoon. Felix and Paul came over and we had an all out jam session. That took my mind off Mia for a few hours.
My parents started doing tai chi last year and now they are back at it. Their tai chi class meets on Sundays for some reason. Lilly met Tina at Tina's parents apt, which is just a few blocks from us, to work on Lilly Tells It Like It Is. So I had the place to myself for most of the afternoon. Felix and Paul came over and we had an all out jam session. That took my mind off Mia for a few hours.
Not.
It just gave me other things to think about. My mind is never totally "off" Mia. She's always in there, lurking around underneath the surface.
I wonder what she's doing right now. Probably packing for the trip back tomorrow. Why doesn't she call? I refuse to call the Palais de Genovia again. Those operators seem to know exactly who I am now and their tones are smug as if they think it's so "cute" that the Princess Mia has a boyfriend. It's so embarrassing, I can't stand it. They're like, "Ohhhh, c'est Meshelle Mosco-veetz," pronouncing Michael in that horribly feminine French way and making each "i" into a long "e".
Maybe tomorrow I'll kind of casually drop by the Thermopolis loft and hang out with Mrs. T and Mr. G.
No way. That would be so lame. Like I don't have a life.
Well, I don't, do I?
Damn. I'm sad. I don't even have a single astrophysics lecture to attend @ Columbia until the new semester begins.
12.01.2010
Mia and me: Reflections
Saturday, Jan. 17, very late
That stupid made-for-TV movie got it all wrong. Lilly is right about that. And don't think I'm in the habit of conceding that my sister is right about anything.
When I met Mia, she was only my sister's playmate in the first grade and I was in fourth. I didn't really notice her back then. She was only the friend Lilly took with us when we went to the house in Albany for weekends or whatever. She was born on May 1, 1990. All we knew about her then was that her mother was the artist Helen Thermopolis (of whose work my parents are big fans) and that her dad was some big shot politician from Genovia, and that every summer (when Lilly and I went off to Hebrew Camp) she went to hang out with him and her grandmother at their chateau in France. In retrospect, I don't know how we never put the pieces together. I mean, we knew her dad's name. Phillipe Renaldo? That's like having Albert Grimaldi for your dad and not knowing he's the Prince of Monaco, but instead living under the delusion that he is just the minister of state or something. Of course, Albert is probably more famous over here due to being Grace Kelly's son. But still. Prince Phillipe and Mia are Grimaldi cousins. Grimaldi is even one of their many names. But we didn't know that then. We just thought Mia's name was Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis because her mother didn't subject her to the cult of the patriarchy. Mia can be really oblivious to things even when they are staring her in the face. Things like being surrounded by bodyguards who were trained in Israel when you fly to France on the Royal Genovian Jet. See, I didn't know these things at the time, but if I had known, you can bet I would have asked questions. The thing is about Mia is that she lives in her head, and that head is living in the clouds. So I can believe that Mia never noticed that the picture of the young military officer, with a mustache and full of head of hair, on the Genovian currency was actually her DAD before he was BALD and went through chemo. Yep. That is just like Mia. I fully believe it. Now if it was me, I would have noticed. But that's just me!
We had some good times growing up. Mia was always coming over to eat Nana's rugelach or whatever. She says now that she was in love with me even as far back as the first grade. I'm not so sure. Mia has a very wild imagination. Once there is a spark of something, it's fireworks. I mean, full on New Year's Eve fireworks. At age 14, she realizes that she has a major crush on her best friend's older brother, so of course she fancies that she was ALWAYS in love with him. Forget that her first few weeks of high school were tainted by her obsession with Josh Richter's eyes. But whatever. That's just Mia. The Mia I love with all my heart.
I don't kid myself. I wasn't ALWAYS in love with Mia. I wasn't struck by the arrow of Cupid the moment I saw her. Hearts weren't fluttering out of my head. I was just trying to survive peewee hockey! But I don't know. I always liked her. In a big brother sort of way. But not the same as Lilly. I've never liked Lilly. Like, when they fought, I was always on Mia's side. Now that I think about it, I did feel very protective towards Mia in a way that I didn't feel for my actual kid sister. But that could be because I've always known Lilly can take care of herself. Mia can too, of course, but the fact is that Mia has always let Lilly push her around. Mia's problem isn't that she can't take care of herself. It's that she doesn't ASSERT herself. She even lies about her feelings to avoid asserting herself. My parents and Lilly and I (yeah, the whole Moscovitz gang) all recognized this in Mia and have tried in our own ways to extract her inner Chutzpah.
I honestly don't know when I started falling in love with her. It came upon me so gradually. Was I in love with her when I was 12 (and she was 9) and she came to me with questions about Crackhead? Was it love with her when I was 14 (and she was 11) and making out with that one girl at Hebrew Camp? One thing I know: I was in love with Mia when I was fooling around that one Saturday with Judith Gershner last semester. I was just in total denial about it. Even Felix and Paul recognized that I had a thing for Mia. One time I guess I was staring at Mia in the hallway in school (she was walking away) and Felix elbowed me and said, "Dude, she's a freshmen. And your sister's best friend. Get a grip." I was like, "What are you talking about?" And he rolled his eyes and replied, "Oh nothing. Nothing at all." I realize now that he was being a sarcastic asshole. Lilly, my kid sister, recognized it too. God, how deep was my denial? I was totally pulling a Mia in my oblivion. It was staring me in the face. Lilly thought I was walking around the apartment without a shirt on purpose to show my biceps to Mia. Was I? OK, yeah I was. It's never been a habit of mine to walk around without a shirt on, but if I knew Mia was hanging around, I kind of "forgot" to put a shirt on.
The whole Mia-chose-Josh thing in the Post-Armageddon Lifemate Question killed me. It was like a slap in the face or a bucket of ice water being dumped over my head. Suddenly I realized, oh shit, I have the hots for this girl! Apart from wanting to beat Josh Richter into a pulp, I was really worried about him taking advantage of Mia. It was partly that concern that gave me the courage to start trying to get closer to her, like helping her with algebra in G&T. Somehow, focusing on it as a mission to protect her from Josh made being completely lovesick for her more bearable. I don't know. I guess I felt heroic. So I didn't feel all Clark Kent because Lois Lane, being fixated on the man in tights with the big S on his chest, didn't care for the bespectacled fellow reporter. I had to protect Mia from... Lex Luther?
First of all, Mia is way more Lana Lang (Kristin Kreuk) than Lois Lane. Secondly, I consider myself more Han Solo than Superman. I'm just not big on the tights, or the anatomically correct body suit thing.
That stupid made-for-TV movie got it all wrong. Lilly is right about that. And don't think I'm in the habit of conceding that my sister is right about anything.
When I met Mia, she was only my sister's playmate in the first grade and I was in fourth. I didn't really notice her back then. She was only the friend Lilly took with us when we went to the house in Albany for weekends or whatever. She was born on May 1, 1990. All we knew about her then was that her mother was the artist Helen Thermopolis (of whose work my parents are big fans) and that her dad was some big shot politician from Genovia, and that every summer (when Lilly and I went off to Hebrew Camp) she went to hang out with him and her grandmother at their chateau in France. In retrospect, I don't know how we never put the pieces together. I mean, we knew her dad's name. Phillipe Renaldo? That's like having Albert Grimaldi for your dad and not knowing he's the Prince of Monaco, but instead living under the delusion that he is just the minister of state or something. Of course, Albert is probably more famous over here due to being Grace Kelly's son. But still. Prince Phillipe and Mia are Grimaldi cousins. Grimaldi is even one of their many names. But we didn't know that then. We just thought Mia's name was Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis because her mother didn't subject her to the cult of the patriarchy. Mia can be really oblivious to things even when they are staring her in the face. Things like being surrounded by bodyguards who were trained in Israel when you fly to France on the Royal Genovian Jet. See, I didn't know these things at the time, but if I had known, you can bet I would have asked questions. The thing is about Mia is that she lives in her head, and that head is living in the clouds. So I can believe that Mia never noticed that the picture of the young military officer, with a mustache and full of head of hair, on the Genovian currency was actually her DAD before he was BALD and went through chemo. Yep. That is just like Mia. I fully believe it. Now if it was me, I would have noticed. But that's just me!
We had some good times growing up. Mia was always coming over to eat Nana's rugelach or whatever. She says now that she was in love with me even as far back as the first grade. I'm not so sure. Mia has a very wild imagination. Once there is a spark of something, it's fireworks. I mean, full on New Year's Eve fireworks. At age 14, she realizes that she has a major crush on her best friend's older brother, so of course she fancies that she was ALWAYS in love with him. Forget that her first few weeks of high school were tainted by her obsession with Josh Richter's eyes. But whatever. That's just Mia. The Mia I love with all my heart.
I don't kid myself. I wasn't ALWAYS in love with Mia. I wasn't struck by the arrow of Cupid the moment I saw her. Hearts weren't fluttering out of my head. I was just trying to survive peewee hockey! But I don't know. I always liked her. In a big brother sort of way. But not the same as Lilly. I've never liked Lilly. Like, when they fought, I was always on Mia's side. Now that I think about it, I did feel very protective towards Mia in a way that I didn't feel for my actual kid sister. But that could be because I've always known Lilly can take care of herself. Mia can too, of course, but the fact is that Mia has always let Lilly push her around. Mia's problem isn't that she can't take care of herself. It's that she doesn't ASSERT herself. She even lies about her feelings to avoid asserting herself. My parents and Lilly and I (yeah, the whole Moscovitz gang) all recognized this in Mia and have tried in our own ways to extract her inner Chutzpah.
I honestly don't know when I started falling in love with her. It came upon me so gradually. Was I in love with her when I was 12 (and she was 9) and she came to me with questions about Crackhead? Was it love with her when I was 14 (and she was 11) and making out with that one girl at Hebrew Camp? One thing I know: I was in love with Mia when I was fooling around that one Saturday with Judith Gershner last semester. I was just in total denial about it. Even Felix and Paul recognized that I had a thing for Mia. One time I guess I was staring at Mia in the hallway in school (she was walking away) and Felix elbowed me and said, "Dude, she's a freshmen. And your sister's best friend. Get a grip." I was like, "What are you talking about?" And he rolled his eyes and replied, "Oh nothing. Nothing at all." I realize now that he was being a sarcastic asshole. Lilly, my kid sister, recognized it too. God, how deep was my denial? I was totally pulling a Mia in my oblivion. It was staring me in the face. Lilly thought I was walking around the apartment without a shirt on purpose to show my biceps to Mia. Was I? OK, yeah I was. It's never been a habit of mine to walk around without a shirt on, but if I knew Mia was hanging around, I kind of "forgot" to put a shirt on.
The whole Mia-chose-Josh thing in the Post-Armageddon Lifemate Question killed me. It was like a slap in the face or a bucket of ice water being dumped over my head. Suddenly I realized, oh shit, I have the hots for this girl! Apart from wanting to beat Josh Richter into a pulp, I was really worried about him taking advantage of Mia. It was partly that concern that gave me the courage to start trying to get closer to her, like helping her with algebra in G&T. Somehow, focusing on it as a mission to protect her from Josh made being completely lovesick for her more bearable. I don't know. I guess I felt heroic. So I didn't feel all Clark Kent because Lois Lane, being fixated on the man in tights with the big S on his chest, didn't care for the bespectacled fellow reporter. I had to protect Mia from... Lex Luther?
First of all, Mia is way more Lana Lang (Kristin Kreuk) than Lois Lane. Secondly, I consider myself more Han Solo than Superman. I'm just not big on the tights, or the anatomically correct body suit thing.
Home sweet home
Saturday, January 17: NYC, Fifth Avenue, 16th Floor, my room (with all my stuff, incl. Andromeda on the ceiling)
It's great to be home. Michael Moscovitz in any other town is a fish out of water. It's just not natural. Boca is nice, but it's great to have Pavlov licking my face again. There's only one thing missing: Girlfriend. Michael Moscovitz without girlfriend is.... OK, so I've spent my whole life not having a girlfriend. That doesn't mean that now that I have a girlfriend, I can be expected to feel a sense of well being without her in my arms. If anything, since Mia has been my girl (damn, that has a nice ring to it) the world is a brighter, lovelier, cheerier place, you know? But with Mia still in Genovia, and me twiddling my thumbs (not literally) in my room in a whole other time zone, there is a fog in paradise.
Mia was beautiful today. I saw some pictures via Google News. All I can say is, thank you, AP. Thank you, Reuters. Her hair was a little windswept. She wore this brightly colored sun dress and was beaming, but there was a look in her eyes (a look I know well) that spelled restlessness. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I got the strong sense that she is ready to come home. OK, maybe that's just me wanting badly for her to come home! She handed Prince William the Sovereign Cup and looked really embarrassed, and he was all sweaty and red in the face and grinning. I wanted to draw horns on his head. STOP LOOKING AT MY GIRL LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was the "farewell gala" or ball, whatever, for Mia at the Palace. There was another picture of her and Prince William, this time shaking hands he walked by the receiving line. How much more of this can I be expected to take? There was a picture of her dancing with her cousin, that Italian prince who is considered to be some kind of "international playboy." Lots of pictures of her dad and grandmother too.
Oh my mia,
she dances at the ball.
Is she thinking of me?
Oh why won't she call?
How will I get through Sunday and Monday?
Get a grip, Moscovitz. She's been my girlfriend for what, almost 30 days, and already I'm cracKing up. Maybe I'm not cut out for this girlfriend stuff after all. If it's like this all the time.... It won't be. It can't be. Once I see her Tuesday morning, all this gloom I'm feeling right now will be a distant memory. Not even. I won't even remember this! I'll be too busy kissing her neck!
~*Grin*~
Oh geez. I'm typing like a girl now. What is it about Mia that makes act like a giddy little girl?
Things to do tomorrow:
It's great to be home. Michael Moscovitz in any other town is a fish out of water. It's just not natural. Boca is nice, but it's great to have Pavlov licking my face again. There's only one thing missing: Girlfriend. Michael Moscovitz without girlfriend is.... OK, so I've spent my whole life not having a girlfriend. That doesn't mean that now that I have a girlfriend, I can be expected to feel a sense of well being without her in my arms. If anything, since Mia has been my girl (damn, that has a nice ring to it) the world is a brighter, lovelier, cheerier place, you know? But with Mia still in Genovia, and me twiddling my thumbs (not literally) in my room in a whole other time zone, there is a fog in paradise.
Mia was beautiful today. I saw some pictures via Google News. All I can say is, thank you, AP. Thank you, Reuters. Her hair was a little windswept. She wore this brightly colored sun dress and was beaming, but there was a look in her eyes (a look I know well) that spelled restlessness. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I got the strong sense that she is ready to come home. OK, maybe that's just me wanting badly for her to come home! She handed Prince William the Sovereign Cup and looked really embarrassed, and he was all sweaty and red in the face and grinning. I wanted to draw horns on his head. STOP LOOKING AT MY GIRL LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was the "farewell gala" or ball, whatever, for Mia at the Palace. There was another picture of her and Prince William, this time shaking hands he walked by the receiving line. How much more of this can I be expected to take? There was a picture of her dancing with her cousin, that Italian prince who is considered to be some kind of "international playboy." Lots of pictures of her dad and grandmother too.
Oh my mia,
she dances at the ball.
Is she thinking of me?
Oh why won't she call?
How will I get through Sunday and Monday?
Get a grip, Moscovitz. She's been my girlfriend for what, almost 30 days, and already I'm cracKing up. Maybe I'm not cut out for this girlfriend stuff after all. If it's like this all the time.... It won't be. It can't be. Once I see her Tuesday morning, all this gloom I'm feeling right now will be a distant memory. Not even. I won't even remember this! I'll be too busy kissing her neck!
~*Grin*~
Oh geez. I'm typing like a girl now. What is it about Mia that makes act like a giddy little girl?
Things to do tomorrow:
- Finish unpacking
- Buy a frame for my picture of Mia from the Non-Denominational Winter Dance
- Buy more food for Pavlov
- Stop obsessing about those images of Mia and Prince William. It's not even legal for him to date her; well it's the same for me, right? That law sux.
- Ask Lilly (indirectly) about the Jane Eyre thing.
- Decide on a name for the band.
What is she doing? Reading Jane Eyre? Watching princes play polo?
Friday, January 16, the condo, my room
I was talking to Mom today about all the stuff they are making Mia do in Genovia (working my girl to the bone) and I thought I heard Lilly mumble something like "when she's not reading Jane Eyre." What the hell? That book by one of the Bronte sisters? I never read it or any of those Bronte sisters' books except Wuthering Heights because it was required junior year. It was so depressing!!!! I'm surprised Mia would read something like that. She hates depressing shit!
Other than worrying about Mia and falling short in my musical ambitions, I've been packing for the return trip to NYC. The hardest part is finding room for my color printer in my suitcase.
Tomorrow is the day of that polo tournament. Here I'm pasting the article on it from Google News:
Prince William to play Genovian Royal Polo Team; for good causes
AFP -- 16 January 2005
Tomorrow, Prince William of Wales, 22, older son of Prince Charles and the late Princess Diana, will greet the crowds at the Polo Club de Genovia for an event that is to combine glamor and altruism. The annual Tournoi de Polo was organized some years ago by the Riviera principality's sovereign, Prince Phillipe Grimaldi Renaldo, but this is the first time for the young British prince, who is rounding up his education at St. Andrews University in Scotland -- he will have a degree in Geography in June -- to play in the match. "The prince [William] is excited to play his favourite sport at a time when it is unseasonable in his home country!" said a spokesperson for the British royal family during a press conference today. "This is an opportunity for His Royal Highness to indulge a long-held wish to visit Genovia and also to raise a bit of money for his favorite charities."
Indeed. The 7th Tournoi de Polo will raise money for an assortment of charities selected jointly by Prince William and the Royal Family of Genovia. They are: The Prince's Trust, Centrepoint, the new pediatric centre of the Royal General Hospital de Genovia, and Greenpeace International. Prince William is to play for the a team of the Crown Princes of Spain and the Netherlands respectively. Prince Phillipe's team consists of his Italian cousin, Prince René Grimaldi Alberto, and Prince Tassilo of Liechtenstein. Prince Phillipe's daughter, and heiress, the 14-year-old Princess Amelia Grimaldi Renaldo is fully expected to attend the tournament and do the honours of presenting the Sovereign Cup to the winning team. Commonly known as "Mia," the American-born royal has been making her introduction to the Genovian people over whom she is expected to rule.
Why is Mia the only female who is mentioned here? Will her grandmother be there to scare those polo players away from my girl?
Is Mia likely to go for a polo type? They work those horses pretty hard. She won't like that. Mia doesn't like anything that causes discomfort to animals.
Four more days!
I was talking to Mom today about all the stuff they are making Mia do in Genovia (working my girl to the bone) and I thought I heard Lilly mumble something like "when she's not reading Jane Eyre." What the hell? That book by one of the Bronte sisters? I never read it or any of those Bronte sisters' books except Wuthering Heights because it was required junior year. It was so depressing!!!! I'm surprised Mia would read something like that. She hates depressing shit!
Other than worrying about Mia and falling short in my musical ambitions, I've been packing for the return trip to NYC. The hardest part is finding room for my color printer in my suitcase.
Tomorrow is the day of that polo tournament. Here I'm pasting the article on it from Google News:
Prince William to play Genovian Royal Polo Team; for good causes
AFP -- 16 January 2005
Tomorrow, Prince William of Wales, 22, older son of Prince Charles and the late Princess Diana, will greet the crowds at the Polo Club de Genovia for an event that is to combine glamor and altruism. The annual Tournoi de Polo was organized some years ago by the Riviera principality's sovereign, Prince Phillipe Grimaldi Renaldo, but this is the first time for the young British prince, who is rounding up his education at St. Andrews University in Scotland -- he will have a degree in Geography in June -- to play in the match. "The prince [William] is excited to play his favourite sport at a time when it is unseasonable in his home country!" said a spokesperson for the British royal family during a press conference today. "This is an opportunity for His Royal Highness to indulge a long-held wish to visit Genovia and also to raise a bit of money for his favorite charities."
Indeed. The 7th Tournoi de Polo will raise money for an assortment of charities selected jointly by Prince William and the Royal Family of Genovia. They are: The Prince's Trust, Centrepoint, the new pediatric centre of the Royal General Hospital de Genovia, and Greenpeace International. Prince William is to play for the a team of the Crown Princes of Spain and the Netherlands respectively. Prince Phillipe's team consists of his Italian cousin, Prince René Grimaldi Alberto, and Prince Tassilo of Liechtenstein. Prince Phillipe's daughter, and heiress, the 14-year-old Princess Amelia Grimaldi Renaldo is fully expected to attend the tournament and do the honours of presenting the Sovereign Cup to the winning team. Commonly known as "Mia," the American-born royal has been making her introduction to the Genovian people over whom she is expected to rule.
Why is Mia the only female who is mentioned here? Will her grandmother be there to scare those polo players away from my girl?
Is Mia likely to go for a polo type? They work those horses pretty hard. She won't like that. Mia doesn't like anything that causes discomfort to animals.
Four more days!
Inspiration from His Bobness
Thursday, January 15, condo/my room
I must have listened to my entire Bob Dylan collection.
How can I too be the voice of a generation?
It'd be nice but I'll be happy if I can just talk to/see my girlfriend.
Five more days.
I must have listened to my entire Bob Dylan collection.
How can I too be the voice of a generation?
It'd be nice but I'll be happy if I can just talk to/see my girlfriend.
Five more days.
11.30.2010
Bellhops????
Wednesday, January 14, condo, the balcony
Boris wants to call the band the Bellhops.
Like Joshua Bell, his idol.
I just don't have any comment.
Except. No. Way.
The Mouth Breathers (kidding)
The Sweater Tuckers (more kidding)
I can't stop thinking about Mia. Less than a week until I look into those beautiful grey eyes again.
Boris wants to call the band the Bellhops.
Like Joshua Bell, his idol.
I just don't have any comment.
Except. No. Way.
I can't stop thinking about Mia. Less than a week until I look into those beautiful grey eyes again.
To be or not to be: rock star, scientist, Renaissance Man!
Tuesday, January 13, the condo, on the balcony
The day has come.
For you and me.
To declare our love.
And set us free.
Me and you.
Equates Forever.
My one love true.
My heart strings glue.
Asunder never.
This song writing stuff is no joke. I spent the whole day trying to string together chords that sounded right. The elders all went sailing and Lilly worked on her letter to the producers of the Mia movie, so it's just me and my guitar, under the fierce sun (I'm a little sunburnt) but I don't have much to show for it. Well, I needed sun (desperately) anyway, and once we're back home, there won't be anymore shirtless outings on the balcony, not in Manhattan in January! Actually, we don't have a balcony in Manhattan. Well, we do, but I never use it because it just overlooks the street, and sorry, Fifth Avenue on the Upper East Side isn't exactly peaceful. Don't get me wrong. I love New York. I've lived there my whole life. I don't want to live anywhere else. That's why I wanted to get into Columbia so badly. I can't see myself going to MIT or Cal Tech because I'd miss NYC too much. Not to mention Mia! My second choice school was NYU. I'm so glad I got into Columbia, because NYU is chalk full of art history types: rich socialites with too much time and (inherited) money on their hands, who only are going to college to break the monotony of the Bungalow 8 club scene. Besides that, I'm not all that interested in sitting behind the Olsen twins in Psyc101.
What's going to happen to our band when we all go off to college? Or whatever? Felix and Paul are talking about possibly going out to Silicon Valley. That would leave me and Boris and maybe Trevor. Boris is a freshmen like Lilly and Mia so he'll be around for awhile. But I guess I'm thinking way too far ahead. We don't even have a name yet, and who is to say we'll be good enough to get any gigs, or a record deal? Lilly said the guy who played me in the movie formed a band and went on to become a major rock star and broke up with Mia. The rock star might be fun, but there is no way I'm breaking up with Mia! I don't know though. About the rock star thing. I like music, but I can't see myself making a career out of it. I'm not like Boris. I'd rather do something really groundbreaking like in science or medicine. I'm not interested in being an M.D. I'm more inclined for the PhD track, to work in something like like nanotechnology or astrophysics. I want to INVENT or DISCOVER something.
Ideas for band names:
The Nanotechs
The Astrogeeks
The Crackheads
The CracKings
Days until I see Mia:|||| ||
The day has come.
For you and me.
To declare our love.
And set us free.
Me and you.
Equates Forever.
My one love true.
This song writing stuff is no joke. I spent the whole day trying to string together chords that sounded right. The elders all went sailing and Lilly worked on her letter to the producers of the Mia movie, so it's just me and my guitar, under the fierce sun (I'm a little sunburnt) but I don't have much to show for it. Well, I needed sun (desperately) anyway, and once we're back home, there won't be anymore shirtless outings on the balcony, not in Manhattan in January! Actually, we don't have a balcony in Manhattan. Well, we do, but I never use it because it just overlooks the street, and sorry, Fifth Avenue on the Upper East Side isn't exactly peaceful. Don't get me wrong. I love New York. I've lived there my whole life. I don't want to live anywhere else. That's why I wanted to get into Columbia so badly. I can't see myself going to MIT or Cal Tech because I'd miss NYC too much. Not to mention Mia! My second choice school was NYU. I'm so glad I got into Columbia, because NYU is chalk full of art history types: rich socialites with too much time and (inherited) money on their hands, who only are going to college to break the monotony of the Bungalow 8 club scene. Besides that, I'm not all that interested in sitting behind the Olsen twins in Psyc101.
What's going to happen to our band when we all go off to college? Or whatever? Felix and Paul are talking about possibly going out to Silicon Valley. That would leave me and Boris and maybe Trevor. Boris is a freshmen like Lilly and Mia so he'll be around for awhile. But I guess I'm thinking way too far ahead. We don't even have a name yet, and who is to say we'll be good enough to get any gigs, or a record deal? Lilly said the guy who played me in the movie formed a band and went on to become a major rock star and broke up with Mia. The rock star might be fun, but there is no way I'm breaking up with Mia! I don't know though. About the rock star thing. I like music, but I can't see myself making a career out of it. I'm not like Boris. I'd rather do something really groundbreaking like in science or medicine. I'm not interested in being an M.D. I'm more inclined for the PhD track, to work in something like like nanotechnology or astrophysics. I want to INVENT or DISCOVER something.
Ideas for band names:
Days until I see Mia:
The Band With No Name
Monday, January 12, the condo, my room
I don't think Prince William ever had a rock band. Sure, he can play polo, but that's a team sport, based on team merit, and consequently relies on team effort rather than individual skills. You can't rely on the other band members when you're playing precision bass or keyboards or guitar. Each band member has to pull his/her weight. Things seem to be coming together for the band, which still has no name. Paul from the computer club already confirmed that he is interested in playing the keyboards. I got Boris to commit on the electric violin and Felix is taking the drums (and with his goatee he seriously looks the part of the drummer of a rock band). That leaves the guitar and precision bass. Boris thinks Trevor, this guy in the AEHS marching band, might want to do the guitar, and I'm all over precision bass. Now all we need is a name.
The Geekheads
The Fab Geeks
The Fab Five? Geeks
The Goatees (I'm not growing a goatee.)
Frontal Lobotomy (off-putting?)
Second night Mia hasn't called. But whatever. I'm going to see her in exactly a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't think Prince William ever had a rock band. Sure, he can play polo, but that's a team sport, based on team merit, and consequently relies on team effort rather than individual skills. You can't rely on the other band members when you're playing precision bass or keyboards or guitar. Each band member has to pull his/her weight. Things seem to be coming together for the band, which still has no name. Paul from the computer club already confirmed that he is interested in playing the keyboards. I got Boris to commit on the electric violin and Felix is taking the drums (and with his goatee he seriously looks the part of the drummer of a rock band). That leaves the guitar and precision bass. Boris thinks Trevor, this guy in the AEHS marching band, might want to do the guitar, and I'm all over precision bass. Now all we need is a name.
Second night Mia hasn't called. But whatever. I'm going to see her in exactly a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Han and Leia, me and Mia
Sunday, January 11, condo, my room
I have planned the perfect first date for me and Mia. Having been alerted by a Star Wars fan club mailing list, I went on the Screening Room website and bought two tickets for the screening of the entire Star Wars prequel trilogy on the 23rd. Not only is it a screening of our mutually favorite three movies, it is also dinner. Mia is so much like Princess Leia, a princess and socially conscious and everything, and I long to be her Han Solo.
She hasn't called tonight. Disappointing. But good. Because she really needs the sleep. Sleep easy, Sweet Princess.
I have planned the perfect first date for me and Mia. Having been alerted by a Star Wars fan club mailing list, I went on the Screening Room website and bought two tickets for the screening of the entire Star Wars prequel trilogy on the 23rd. Not only is it a screening of our mutually favorite three movies, it is also dinner. Mia is so much like Princess Leia, a princess and socially conscious and everything, and I long to be her Han Solo.
She hasn't called tonight. Disappointing. But good. Because she really needs the sleep. Sleep easy, Sweet Princess.
11.29.2010
Free me of Willy, please!
Saturday, January 10, later
I figured that with everything Mia is doing in Genovia -- cutting ribbons and visiting hospitals and stuff -- there must be some news relating to her, so I did a google news search. There was a story about her that was by now a couple of days old. It caught my eye because of Prince William and the insinuation that he and Mia were some kind of "dream couple." I thought, Geez, I'm only three years older than Mia, but William is like in grad school, or the army, or something. I think. Who cares? Anyway, the article said that he's flying to Genovia in the coming week to play for Prince Phillipe's polo team. Prince Phillipe is Mia's dad. William is also going to attend some "farewell ball" that is being held in Mia's honor at the end of her trip. So this is just great. My new girlfriend is ripped out of my time zone and now I have to worry about some prince stealing her away from me. How in the world am I supposed to compete with Prince Charming? The son of the "Queen of Hearts/People's Princess." When Lilly was younger, she had a picture of him on her wall, sitting in a row boat and looking forlornly at the camera. I'll never forget the caption because I made it into the butt of many jokes: "Dreamboat Willy."
Good lord. Dreamboat Willy is my competition. To think I was lately jealous of Kenny Showalter.
What if Mia takes one look at the Prince and thinks, "Why am I wasting time with that geek Moscovitz when I could be with the dashing Dreamboat Willy?"
Wait. She can't marry that dorkus Prince Willy because she is Catholic and he can't marry Catholics on account of that weird law the British are always saying they want to repeal but for some reason never get around to it. But who is to say that they wouldn't repeal it at last for Mia's sake, because what country wouldn't want Mia as a Queen?!
All right, Mike, get a grip. Mia would never go for a pretty boy like Prince William. Her friend Tina Hakim Baba might drool over His Dreamboatness, but Mia has more discernment than Tina. Mia doesn't care about a person's royal status. She completely disparages her own royal status, thinking that it is freaky to be a princess, so why would she admire it in someone else?
Besides, Mia told me that she loves me. Mia isn't the kind of girl to tell a guy she loves him unless she means it from the bottom of big heart. Stop reading so much into shit and go write some songs.
I figured that with everything Mia is doing in Genovia -- cutting ribbons and visiting hospitals and stuff -- there must be some news relating to her, so I did a google news search. There was a story about her that was by now a couple of days old. It caught my eye because of Prince William and the insinuation that he and Mia were some kind of "dream couple." I thought, Geez, I'm only three years older than Mia, but William is like in grad school, or the army, or something. I think. Who cares? Anyway, the article said that he's flying to Genovia in the coming week to play for Prince Phillipe's polo team. Prince Phillipe is Mia's dad. William is also going to attend some "farewell ball" that is being held in Mia's honor at the end of her trip. So this is just great. My new girlfriend is ripped out of my time zone and now I have to worry about some prince stealing her away from me. How in the world am I supposed to compete with Prince Charming? The son of the "Queen of Hearts/People's Princess." When Lilly was younger, she had a picture of him on her wall, sitting in a row boat and looking forlornly at the camera. I'll never forget the caption because I made it into the butt of many jokes: "Dreamboat Willy."
Good lord. Dreamboat Willy is my competition. To think I was lately jealous of Kenny Showalter.
What if Mia takes one look at the Prince and thinks, "Why am I wasting time with that geek Moscovitz when I could be with the dashing Dreamboat Willy?"
Wait. She can't marry that dorkus Prince Willy because she is Catholic and he can't marry Catholics on account of that weird law the British are always saying they want to repeal but for some reason never get around to it. But who is to say that they wouldn't repeal it at last for Mia's sake, because what country wouldn't want Mia as a Queen?!
All right, Mike, get a grip. Mia would never go for a pretty boy like Prince William. Her friend Tina Hakim Baba might drool over His Dreamboatness, but Mia has more discernment than Tina. Mia doesn't care about a person's royal status. She completely disparages her own royal status, thinking that it is freaky to be a princess, so why would she admire it in someone else?
Besides, Mia told me that she loves me. Mia isn't the kind of girl to tell a guy she loves him unless she means it from the bottom of big heart. Stop reading so much into shit and go write some songs.
The Mia Cure
Saturday, January 10, midnight
I'm now thoroughly convinced that the cure for all ills is Mia's voice. I have to admit, when I went out there to see what Lilly was screaming about, and she goes, "Phone," I sort of expected it to be Mia. But since she didn't say anything about it being Mia (like "your lifemate," in a disdainful tone) I thought it more likely was Boris. She talks to Boris almost every night and I thought he might have wanted to chat with me for a minute about the band. So I picked up the phone and went, "Hello?" kind of uncertainly, but curious.
Imagine my delight when I was greeted with, "Michael, it's me"!!!! Suddenly, I was soaring in the clouds, doing backflips and somersaults without becoming at all tangled in my cape. That's how Mia's voice makes me feel. Invincible.
Immediately, she went off all apologetic about forgetting my birthday. I'll admit it. I was a little hurt that she didn't call, but tonight she was so sweet and adorable, telling me she must be the worst girlfriend ever and all this other nonsense, all I could do was laugh! I told her not to be ridiculous. I didn't expect her to be able to call me whenever she wanted to because I understood the weight of the demands on her time over there. This is basically how our conversation went:
Mia -- Michael, it's me.
Me -- Mia! How are you?
Mia -- I'm OK. Listen, Michael, I can't believe I missed your birthday. I suck. I can't believe how much I suck. I am the most horrible person who ever walked the face of the planet.
That's Mia. Only she can turn a forgotten birthday phone call into a crime against humanity.
Me -- Oh that's all right. I know you're busy over there. And there's that time-zone thing, and all. So. How's it going? Has your grandmother let you off for that parking-meter thing, or is she still on your case about it?
Mia -- You know it. So tell me about your birthday. Did you do anything fun?
Me -- It was a disaster! Well, except for my new laptop. But Lilly was a real pain in the ass, and my grandparents insisted on us all going to Red Lobster. You know how much I hate chain restaurants. Needless to say, this experience didn't change my sentiments.
Mia -- Why? What happened?
Me -- Well, it turns out Lilly is allergic to shellfish. She had this seriously alarming reaction so we all jumped up and rushed her to the Promptcare. Now she has to carry a syringe filled with adrenaline everywhere just in case she starts swelling up like Violet in Willy Wonka.
Mia -- Oh my god.
Me -- Yeah. Nothing but that could have made me forgive her for being such a pain.
Mia -- Aw, you know you love her deep down.
Me -- Right. Whatever you say.
Mia -- So you got a new computer to go with your new color printer?
Me -- Yeah. It's very nice. It's the new powerbook. 17 inch screen, 500 gigs. There is also this cool music-recording software on it that will be great for the band.
Mia -- What band?
Me -- Oh yeah. I'm forming a band with some of the guys from the computer club.
Mia -- Wow!
Me -- Yeah. I have to do something with myself now that the minions of Bill Gates have silenced me.
Mia -- Are you really giving up Crackhead?
Me -- Yep.
Mia -- Shoot. I love that 'zine. I've been a faithful subscriber since I was like ten.
Me -- Well, you know, it was fun while it lasted. So I have a new email now. It's LinuxRulz, with a 'z.'
All of a sudden, Mia let out this yawn and it dawned on me what time it had to be over there. Until then, I was so caught up in the thrill of talking to her (we always have so much to say to each other) I didn't even think about the six-hour time difference.
Me -- Hey, isn't it like four in the morning there?
Mia -- Yes.
Me -- Well, you'd better get to bed. Unless you get to sleep in. But I bet you have stuff to do tomorrow, right?
Mia -- Oh. Just a ribbon-cutting ceremony at the hospital. And then lunch with the Genovian Historical Society. And then a tour of the Genovian zoo. And then dinner with the minister of culture and his wife.
Me -- Oh, my god. Do you have to do that kind of stuff every day?
Mia -- Uh-huh.
She sounded dreamy, like she was all happy and cozy. I had the sudden urge to reach across the ocean and wrap my arms around her.
Me -- Mia, you'd better get some sleep. You have another huge day ahead of you.
Mia -- OK.
Me -- I mean it, Mia. Hang up the phone and go to bed.
Mia -- You hang up first.
My heart melted. I couldn't stand to hang up first. I couldn't stand to say goodbye to her.
Me -- No. You hang up first.
Mia -- No. You.
Me -- No. You.
"Both of you hang up." That was Lilly on another phone. "I have to call Boris before his nightly Benadryl kicks in."
So I had to say good night to Mia without saying what I desperately wanted to say, which is that I love her, because I can't say that with my sister listening on another end.
9 days until I see my girl again. 9 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm now thoroughly convinced that the cure for all ills is Mia's voice. I have to admit, when I went out there to see what Lilly was screaming about, and she goes, "Phone," I sort of expected it to be Mia. But since she didn't say anything about it being Mia (like "your lifemate," in a disdainful tone) I thought it more likely was Boris. She talks to Boris almost every night and I thought he might have wanted to chat with me for a minute about the band. So I picked up the phone and went, "Hello?" kind of uncertainly, but curious.
Imagine my delight when I was greeted with, "Michael, it's me"!!!! Suddenly, I was soaring in the clouds, doing backflips and somersaults without becoming at all tangled in my cape. That's how Mia's voice makes me feel. Invincible.
Immediately, she went off all apologetic about forgetting my birthday. I'll admit it. I was a little hurt that she didn't call, but tonight she was so sweet and adorable, telling me she must be the worst girlfriend ever and all this other nonsense, all I could do was laugh! I told her not to be ridiculous. I didn't expect her to be able to call me whenever she wanted to because I understood the weight of the demands on her time over there. This is basically how our conversation went:
Mia -- Michael, it's me.
Me -- Mia! How are you?
Mia -- I'm OK. Listen, Michael, I can't believe I missed your birthday. I suck. I can't believe how much I suck. I am the most horrible person who ever walked the face of the planet.
That's Mia. Only she can turn a forgotten birthday phone call into a crime against humanity.
Me -- Oh that's all right. I know you're busy over there. And there's that time-zone thing, and all. So. How's it going? Has your grandmother let you off for that parking-meter thing, or is she still on your case about it?
Mia -- You know it. So tell me about your birthday. Did you do anything fun?
Me -- It was a disaster! Well, except for my new laptop. But Lilly was a real pain in the ass, and my grandparents insisted on us all going to Red Lobster. You know how much I hate chain restaurants. Needless to say, this experience didn't change my sentiments.
Mia -- Why? What happened?
Me -- Well, it turns out Lilly is allergic to shellfish. She had this seriously alarming reaction so we all jumped up and rushed her to the Promptcare. Now she has to carry a syringe filled with adrenaline everywhere just in case she starts swelling up like Violet in Willy Wonka.
Mia -- Oh my god.
Me -- Yeah. Nothing but that could have made me forgive her for being such a pain.
Mia -- Aw, you know you love her deep down.
Me -- Right. Whatever you say.
Mia -- So you got a new computer to go with your new color printer?
Me -- Yeah. It's very nice. It's the new powerbook. 17 inch screen, 500 gigs. There is also this cool music-recording software on it that will be great for the band.
Mia -- What band?
Me -- Oh yeah. I'm forming a band with some of the guys from the computer club.
Mia -- Wow!
Me -- Yeah. I have to do something with myself now that the minions of Bill Gates have silenced me.
Mia -- Are you really giving up Crackhead?
Me -- Yep.
Mia -- Shoot. I love that 'zine. I've been a faithful subscriber since I was like ten.
Me -- Well, you know, it was fun while it lasted. So I have a new email now. It's LinuxRulz, with a 'z.'
All of a sudden, Mia let out this yawn and it dawned on me what time it had to be over there. Until then, I was so caught up in the thrill of talking to her (we always have so much to say to each other) I didn't even think about the six-hour time difference.
Me -- Hey, isn't it like four in the morning there?
Mia -- Yes.
Me -- Well, you'd better get to bed. Unless you get to sleep in. But I bet you have stuff to do tomorrow, right?
Mia -- Oh. Just a ribbon-cutting ceremony at the hospital. And then lunch with the Genovian Historical Society. And then a tour of the Genovian zoo. And then dinner with the minister of culture and his wife.
Me -- Oh, my god. Do you have to do that kind of stuff every day?
Mia -- Uh-huh.
She sounded dreamy, like she was all happy and cozy. I had the sudden urge to reach across the ocean and wrap my arms around her.
Me -- Mia, you'd better get some sleep. You have another huge day ahead of you.
Mia -- OK.
Me -- I mean it, Mia. Hang up the phone and go to bed.
Mia -- You hang up first.
My heart melted. I couldn't stand to hang up first. I couldn't stand to say goodbye to her.
Me -- No. You hang up first.
Mia -- No. You.
Me -- No. You.
"Both of you hang up." That was Lilly on another phone. "I have to call Boris before his nightly Benadryl kicks in."
So I had to say good night to Mia without saying what I desperately wanted to say, which is that I love her, because I can't say that with my sister listening on another end.
9 days until I see my girl again. 9 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Crackhead is dead
Friday, January 9, late: the condo, my room
I taught myself how to play "Smells like Team Spirit" on the guitar. Talked to Boris and Felix on AIM about starting a band. Crackhead is losing sponsors at a marathon pace and there is no waiting list of alternative endorsement prospects. It seems that reverence for the Almighty Bill has turned the industry against me. Why the hell is Lilly shouting my name like that? It's nine o'clock in the evening. She knows our grandparents go to bed early in order to start slamming doors at five in the am. I better go see what the hell she wants.
I taught myself how to play "Smells like Team Spirit" on the guitar. Talked to Boris and Felix on AIM about starting a band. Crackhead is losing sponsors at a marathon pace and there is no waiting list of alternative endorsement prospects. It seems that reverence for the Almighty Bill has turned the industry against me. Why the hell is Lilly shouting my name like that? It's nine o'clock in the evening. She knows our grandparents go to bed early in order to start slamming doors at five in the am. I better go see what the hell she wants.
When both of your parents are head shrinks...
Thursday, January 8
... You can't walk out on a made-for-TV movie that was very loosely based on your girlfriend w/o them wanting to psychoanalyze you.
At breakfast, Dad was all, "Are you amenable to your relationship with the famous heiress of a small European principality?"
I put the kabash on the head shrinking session right there. "Dad, I just wasn't into the movie, all right? It wasn't even about Mia. In fact, it had nothing to do with me and Mia. It was completely unrealistic."
I thought I heard Lilly mumble something like, "I'll say." She was eerily quiet today. Very unlike her.
The Fat's outta the bag now
Wednesday, January 7, Even Later
Lilly is on a rampage. The movie about Mia was stupid, but they actually did a pretty good job with Lilly's character. "She" was whiny, bitchy, annoying, and totally insensitive to "Mia". So far so good right? Well, Lilly doesn't think so. Naturally. She is determined to write a letter of complaint to the production company.
I just hope Mia doesn't see it. What am I saying? Of course she'll see it. Because everyone in her life, except I, will have watched it and will mention it to her. I watched about the first half-hour and then returned to my Linux. Speaking of which, my new screenname is LinuxRulz. But about the movie, what I saw of it was really awful. Mia's dad wasn't even alive. The guy who played me worked in an auto body shop. I mean, where the hell did they get that from? Anyway, that's Hollywood for you. Don't bother checking facts or anything. Just make up random shit that has no basis in anything real and doesn't make any sense whatsoever. It'll probably be nominated for an Emmy.
Lilly is on a rampage. The movie about Mia was stupid, but they actually did a pretty good job with Lilly's character. "She" was whiny, bitchy, annoying, and totally insensitive to "Mia". So far so good right? Well, Lilly doesn't think so. Naturally. She is determined to write a letter of complaint to the production company.
I just hope Mia doesn't see it. What am I saying? Of course she'll see it. Because everyone in her life, except I, will have watched it and will mention it to her. I watched about the first half-hour and then returned to my Linux. Speaking of which, my new screenname is LinuxRulz. But about the movie, what I saw of it was really awful. Mia's dad wasn't even alive. The guy who played me worked in an auto body shop. I mean, where the hell did they get that from? Anyway, that's Hollywood for you. Don't bother checking facts or anything. Just make up random shit that has no basis in anything real and doesn't make any sense whatsoever. It'll probably be nominated for an Emmy.
Ode to Mia
Wednesday, January 7, Later
Mia, my dear
what can I say,
to make it clear,
my love for you,
grows greater everyday.
Greater? Would 'stronger' be a better choice?
The Princess of my Heart,
is a million miles away.
So far apart, from the start.
All the best of Hollywood,
they try to profit from your highness.
But I know they're not any good.
Because nothing can imitate you.
I still haven't decided where I'm taking Mia for our first real date. She was at the OPERA when I called the Palace. I was dining at Le Crabbe Shacque, courtesy of the early bird senior citizen discount, when she returned my call. How classy! I wonder how she liked, or didn't like, the opera. It's hard to know. Mia generally doesn't like plots with loads of tragedy and death. She likes romantic, happy, funny plots. Like Beauty and the Beast. I can't wait to hear all about her experiences in Genovia. Knowing Mia, I'm in for every delicious detail.
CloneMyFly: Moscovitz, I just sent you a long OpEd on your Windows vs. Linux article.
CracKing: Go away.
CloneMyFly: No. The BF also has a bone to pick with you.
CracKing: I'm busy.
CloneMyFly: WTH do YOU have going on? And don't say making out with your gf because I know she's in Monaco or whatever.
CracKing: Genovia.
CloneMyFly: Right. I knew it was one of those pea sized principalities. Hey, isn't the movie of her life on tonight?
CracKing: Terminated
That's it. I'm changing my screenname and I'm not letting Judith Gershner find out the new one. Let's hope she takes the hint. For a change. Oh crud. Lilly just pounded on my door and informed me in her *pleasant* (not) way that the Mia movie is starting in five minutes. Guess I better go watch it with the others. Even though it will only make me miss the real Mia more than I already do.
Mia, my dear
what can I say,
to make it clear,
my love for you,
grows greater everyday.
Greater? Would 'stronger' be a better choice?
The Princess of my Heart,
is a million miles away.
So far apart, from the start.
All the best of Hollywood,
they try to profit from your highness.
But I know they're not any good.
Because nothing can imitate you.
I still haven't decided where I'm taking Mia for our first real date. She was at the OPERA when I called the Palace. I was dining at Le Crabbe Shacque, courtesy of the early bird senior citizen discount, when she returned my call. How classy! I wonder how she liked, or didn't like, the opera. It's hard to know. Mia generally doesn't like plots with loads of tragedy and death. She likes romantic, happy, funny plots. Like Beauty and the Beast. I can't wait to hear all about her experiences in Genovia. Knowing Mia, I'm in for every delicious detail.
CloneMyFly: Moscovitz, I just sent you a long OpEd on your Windows vs. Linux article.
CracKing: Go away.
CloneMyFly: No. The BF also has a bone to pick with you.
CracKing: I'm busy.
CloneMyFly: WTH do YOU have going on? And don't say making out with your gf because I know she's in Monaco or whatever.
CracKing: Genovia.
CloneMyFly: Right. I knew it was one of those pea sized principalities. Hey, isn't the movie of her life on tonight?
CracKing: Terminated
That's it. I'm changing my screenname and I'm not letting Judith Gershner find out the new one. Let's hope she takes the hint. For a change. Oh crud. Lilly just pounded on my door and informed me in her *pleasant* (not) way that the Mia movie is starting in five minutes. Guess I better go watch it with the others. Even though it will only make me miss the real Mia more than I already do.
It seems the movie got it right regarding Lilly
Wednesday, January 7
The made-for-TV movie about Mia's life airs tonight. My whole family is psyched to watch it, I'm ashamed to say. Lilly is a bit testy about it because it looks like the character based on her is.... actually..... very realistic! In other words, a bitch. Of course, Lilly doesn't think it's going to be a realistic portrayal at all. In fact, she suspects that the film "highly exaggerates and/or is a libelous depiction of her as a strong and self-assured modern woman."
Eye roll. Strong and self-assured? That's one way of putting it. You could also say: bitchy and arrogant. Then again, I am still pissed at her for the childish prank she pulled on my birthday, so I might not be the best judge.
No. She is a bitch and very arrogant. She confirms my opinion every time she laughs at her own joke about how the guy in the movie who portrays me is way too good looking.
Why must I be cursed with a demonic sister? What is this nonsense about being a "modern woman?" Geez. It's not even worth a comment.
The made-for-TV movie about Mia's life airs tonight. My whole family is psyched to watch it, I'm ashamed to say. Lilly is a bit testy about it because it looks like the character based on her is.... actually..... very realistic! In other words, a bitch. Of course, Lilly doesn't think it's going to be a realistic portrayal at all. In fact, she suspects that the film "highly exaggerates and/or is a libelous depiction of her as a strong and self-assured modern woman."
Eye roll. Strong and self-assured? That's one way of putting it. You could also say: bitchy and arrogant. Then again, I am still pissed at her for the childish prank she pulled on my birthday, so I might not be the best judge.
No. She is a bitch and very arrogant. She confirms my opinion every time she laughs at her own joke about how the guy in the movie who portrays me is way too good looking.
Why must I be cursed with a demonic sister? What is this nonsense about being a "modern woman?" Geez. It's not even worth a comment.
Hi????!!!!
Tuesday, January 6
Well, I called the Palais de Genovia. Mia was out, which I fully expected. The operator said that "Her Royal Highness" was at the opera. I was then asked if I'd like to pass on a message to the Princess. I was like, "Uh... tell her hi."
God, I am such a tool.
The whole family, except Mom, had dinner at Le Crabbe Shacque, which is my grandparents' favorite on account of the early bird senior citizen discount. Mom stayed home to tend to an emergency phone session with one of her patients. When we returned home, there was a message from Mia via Mom: "Hi."
Very funny, Mia!
Well, I called the Palais de Genovia. Mia was out, which I fully expected. The operator said that "Her Royal Highness" was at the opera. I was then asked if I'd like to pass on a message to the Princess. I was like, "Uh... tell her hi."
God, I am such a tool.
The whole family, except Mom, had dinner at Le Crabbe Shacque, which is my grandparents' favorite on account of the early bird senior citizen discount. Mom stayed home to tend to an emergency phone session with one of her patients. When we returned home, there was a message from Mia via Mom: "Hi."
Very funny, Mia!
Birthday
Monday, January 5
My birthday. I'm 18. Legally an adult. Old enough to vote. Nana baked a cake. Despite my protestations, the whole family pulled out all the stops. They sang Happy Birthday and took me out to Red Lobster.
But before Red Lobster, we did the presents. I got a sweater from Nana, a shaving kit from Grandpa (GOD!!!!) But Lilly's present was the worst. I was shocked, first of all, that she gave me anything at all. But when I tore the paper off, I immediately wished she hadn't. It was The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex. She laughed her pug-faced ass off. Furious, I hurled it at her and she ducked and it ended up breaking this handcrafted vase that Nana bought in Jerusalem ages ago.
Grandpa insisted on taking me for a drive. Well, I drove. He talked. A lot. I don't feel like writing out everything he said. It was excruciating the first time. There is no reason to repeat it. I guess it was a typical Be-a-good-boy-keep-your-nose-clean-work-hard-and-honor-your-family kind of speech. I hope he wasn't reacting to Lilly's twisted prank. Actually, now that I think about it, he probably just wanted to get me out of the house before Nana could maim me for breaking that vase.
Red Lobster was kind of a bust. We were all eating and all of a sudden, Lilly, who had ordered a shrimp cocktail, started swelling up and getting all blue in the face. So we rushed her to Promptcare so she could get an adrenaline shot. Who knew she was allergic to shellfish?
God, I'm glad this day is almost over. I hoped Mia might call, because nothing but Mia could make me feel good right now. Not even the new laptop Ruth and Morty gave me for college.
My birthday. I'm 18. Legally an adult. Old enough to vote. Nana baked a cake. Despite my protestations, the whole family pulled out all the stops. They sang Happy Birthday and took me out to Red Lobster.
But before Red Lobster, we did the presents. I got a sweater from Nana, a shaving kit from Grandpa (GOD!!!!) But Lilly's present was the worst. I was shocked, first of all, that she gave me anything at all. But when I tore the paper off, I immediately wished she hadn't. It was The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex. She laughed her pug-faced ass off. Furious, I hurled it at her and she ducked and it ended up breaking this handcrafted vase that Nana bought in Jerusalem ages ago.
Grandpa insisted on taking me for a drive. Well, I drove. He talked. A lot. I don't feel like writing out everything he said. It was excruciating the first time. There is no reason to repeat it. I guess it was a typical Be-a-good-boy-keep-your-nose-clean-work-hard-and-honor-your-family kind of speech. I hope he wasn't reacting to Lilly's twisted prank. Actually, now that I think about it, he probably just wanted to get me out of the house before Nana could maim me for breaking that vase.
Red Lobster was kind of a bust. We were all eating and all of a sudden, Lilly, who had ordered a shrimp cocktail, started swelling up and getting all blue in the face. So we rushed her to Promptcare so she could get an adrenaline shot. Who knew she was allergic to shellfish?
God, I'm glad this day is almost over. I hoped Mia might call, because nothing but Mia could make me feel good right now. Not even the new laptop Ruth and Morty gave me for college.
The fates are working against us
Sunday, January 4
Mia called me twice today!!!!!!!!!! TWICE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was out of the house BOTH TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY?????????????? I want to kick myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to kick my grandparents (except I won't, of course, because they are old, and I love them) for practically dragging me out of the house to see Die Another Day. First of all, before going to see the movie even came up, I depleted the toner cartridge on my new color printer because I had been printing out copies of the 'zine to mail to the VIP subscribers, and... well, it's a big publication. So I had to go to the computer store to buy a new cartridge. And that took a long time because the only car that was available was Grandpa's 1970s Volvo which has a terrifying habit of stalling in the middle of the road. I ended up having to push the car half the way home. By the time I did get home, I was devastated by Nana giving me Mia's message. The message clearly stated that she would call me again the same day! So naturally, when my grandparents declared they wanted to see the James Bond movie at the dollar cinema, I declined as politely as I could. But my grandparents wouldn't take no for an answer. Lilly was laughing at me the whole time I was protesting, but Nana was all, "Michael, you need to get out. You've been holed up in your bedroom, staring at that computer for days." I tried to explain that, as today is Sunday, Mia probably had a light load of royal engagements, and since we barely have spoken two words to each other in 15 days (yes, yes, I'm counting the days; I know I'm pathetic) I wanted to be home to receive her call. I really wanted to talk to Mia!!!!!!!!!! To think that it all might have worked out, that my grandparents and Lilly were about to leave the house without me if only my parents hadn't returned home from the tennis club at that moment! When my parents heard my excuse for not accompanying the others to see the movie, I was forced to go. Dad didn't want either of his parents to drive, especially with Lilly in the car, and Mom agreed. They always agree with each other. They have a consensus on everything from their views on Carl Jung to the proper way to make rugelach. So off I went to drive my grandparents and my weird sister to see the stupid movie. Normally, I get into the Bond movies. You know, the music, the chases, the hot Bond girls, and best of all, "The name is Bond. James Bond." But I swear, there were moments as I sat in the theatre when I thought I might just burst into tears. I couldn't stop thinking about Mia, how much I miss her and long to hear her voice. When Dad told me she had called while we were out, I thought that was it, that I would start balling right then and there. Alas, I stayed in control of my emotions long enough to reach the privacy of my bedroom.
Then I put my fist through the wall.
No. Not really.
But I wanted to.
Mia called me twice today!!!!!!!!!! TWICE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was out of the house BOTH TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY?????????????? I want to kick myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to kick my grandparents (except I won't, of course, because they are old, and I love them) for practically dragging me out of the house to see Die Another Day. First of all, before going to see the movie even came up, I depleted the toner cartridge on my new color printer because I had been printing out copies of the 'zine to mail to the VIP subscribers, and... well, it's a big publication. So I had to go to the computer store to buy a new cartridge. And that took a long time because the only car that was available was Grandpa's 1970s Volvo which has a terrifying habit of stalling in the middle of the road. I ended up having to push the car half the way home. By the time I did get home, I was devastated by Nana giving me Mia's message. The message clearly stated that she would call me again the same day! So naturally, when my grandparents declared they wanted to see the James Bond movie at the dollar cinema, I declined as politely as I could. But my grandparents wouldn't take no for an answer. Lilly was laughing at me the whole time I was protesting, but Nana was all, "Michael, you need to get out. You've been holed up in your bedroom, staring at that computer for days." I tried to explain that, as today is Sunday, Mia probably had a light load of royal engagements, and since we barely have spoken two words to each other in 15 days (yes, yes, I'm counting the days; I know I'm pathetic) I wanted to be home to receive her call. I really wanted to talk to Mia!!!!!!!!!! To think that it all might have worked out, that my grandparents and Lilly were about to leave the house without me if only my parents hadn't returned home from the tennis club at that moment! When my parents heard my excuse for not accompanying the others to see the movie, I was forced to go. Dad didn't want either of his parents to drive, especially with Lilly in the car, and Mom agreed. They always agree with each other. They have a consensus on everything from their views on Carl Jung to the proper way to make rugelach. So off I went to drive my grandparents and my weird sister to see the stupid movie. Normally, I get into the Bond movies. You know, the music, the chases, the hot Bond girls, and best of all, "The name is Bond. James Bond." But I swear, there were moments as I sat in the theatre when I thought I might just burst into tears. I couldn't stop thinking about Mia, how much I miss her and long to hear her voice. When Dad told me she had called while we were out, I thought that was it, that I would start balling right then and there. Alas, I stayed in control of my emotions long enough to reach the privacy of my bedroom.
Then I put my fist through the wall.
No. Not really.
But I wanted to.
The question of our first date
Saturday, January 3
OK. Here is my problem. I have to take Mia on a real date. I mean, the Non-Denominational Winter Dance doesn't count as our first date, or does it? I don't think so. Because I didn't ask her to the dance. I just showed up, hoping she'd be there, and she was, and it transpired that we happened to have been in love with each for..... well..... forever. Or at least, in my case, since I was 13. So that doesn't count as a date, and without an official date, we can't be officially a couple. So I have to take her on a date asap. The question is, what kind of date? Dancing? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I'm thinking dinner, but it can't be just any dinner. I mean, any dinner date would be fine for any girl. But this is Mia!!!!! It has to be special. It has to be unique. It has to be perfect. Like Mia.
OK. Here is my problem. I have to take Mia on a real date. I mean, the Non-Denominational Winter Dance doesn't count as our first date, or does it? I don't think so. Because I didn't ask her to the dance. I just showed up, hoping she'd be there, and she was, and it transpired that we happened to have been in love with each for..... well..... forever. Or at least, in my case, since I was 13. So that doesn't count as a date, and without an official date, we can't be officially a couple. So I have to take her on a date asap. The question is, what kind of date? Dancing? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I'm thinking dinner, but it can't be just any dinner. I mean, any dinner date would be fine for any girl. But this is Mia!!!!! It has to be special. It has to be unique. It has to be perfect. Like Mia.
11.28.2010
I'm so CracKing Without My Mia
Friday, January 2
I can't believe it's only 13 days since I last saw Mia. It feels like an eternity. I'm so bummed out. Mostly because I miss Mia so badly it hurts. Everywhere. I NEED MY MIA!!!! But there is also this thing with my Crackhead endorsements. A few of them have emailed me threatening to pull the plug on their funding. They are upset about the latest issue's scathing analysis on the piece of crap that is Microsoft Windows. It's pitiful really. They are just terrified of falling out of the graces of King Bill. Felix told me flat out that he thinks I went too far in the things I wrote about Windows. Even the Gershner called me an ass. She actually likes Windows. I don't know why and don't care. But if enough of my sponsors yank my funding, I'm going to have to shut down Crackhead. The thought is depressing. I've been doing this webzine for over five years. It's practically my life. Or it was my life. Before that magical night when Mia became my girlfriend. The night of the Non-Denominational Winter Dance. Actually, Mia started becoming my reason for breathing before that night. I guess it was really the night of the Cultural Diversity Dance that changed my focus from being the socially isolated founder and editor-in-chief of Crackhead to being the all-consuming lover of All Things Mia. Well, it was before even the Cultural Diversity Dance. But the Cultural Diversity Dance kind of clarified things. That was when I stopped trying to deny my feelings. I finally went, to myself, "You love her, asshole. OK? Just admit it and deal."
But this thing with Crackhead is a big deal. Lifeblood or not. Maybe it's for the best. I have a girlfriend now and I'd much rather (much, much rather!!!!) spend my time with her than working on Crackhead. Why did I give it that name anyway? Simple: Because I'm a loser with a Cracked Head. Seriously, though, now that I have a girlfriend, who I think about every waking moment of the day, and who even consumes my dreams, and I'm trying to learn all these instruments, I don't even have time for the 'zine. So maybe now is a good time to just let it go. Say goodbye to childish things. I turn 18 in three days, after all.
Christ. It feels like the end of an era, doesn't it?
Why do I pose questions to my journal?
Why do I even have in a journal?
Because I need to pour my Cracked Head thoughts somewhere, I guess.
I can't believe it's only 13 days since I last saw Mia. It feels like an eternity. I'm so bummed out. Mostly because I miss Mia so badly it hurts. Everywhere. I NEED MY MIA!!!! But there is also this thing with my Crackhead endorsements. A few of them have emailed me threatening to pull the plug on their funding. They are upset about the latest issue's scathing analysis on the piece of crap that is Microsoft Windows. It's pitiful really. They are just terrified of falling out of the graces of King Bill. Felix told me flat out that he thinks I went too far in the things I wrote about Windows. Even the Gershner called me an ass. She actually likes Windows. I don't know why and don't care. But if enough of my sponsors yank my funding, I'm going to have to shut down Crackhead. The thought is depressing. I've been doing this webzine for over five years. It's practically my life. Or it was my life. Before that magical night when Mia became my girlfriend. The night of the Non-Denominational Winter Dance. Actually, Mia started becoming my reason for breathing before that night. I guess it was really the night of the Cultural Diversity Dance that changed my focus from being the socially isolated founder and editor-in-chief of Crackhead to being the all-consuming lover of All Things Mia. Well, it was before even the Cultural Diversity Dance. But the Cultural Diversity Dance kind of clarified things. That was when I stopped trying to deny my feelings. I finally went, to myself, "You love her, asshole. OK? Just admit it and deal."
But this thing with Crackhead is a big deal. Lifeblood or not. Maybe it's for the best. I have a girlfriend now and I'd much rather (much, much rather!!!!) spend my time with her than working on Crackhead. Why did I give it that name anyway? Simple: Because I'm a loser with a Cracked Head. Seriously, though, now that I have a girlfriend, who I think about every waking moment of the day, and who even consumes my dreams, and I'm trying to learn all these instruments, I don't even have time for the 'zine. So maybe now is a good time to just let it go. Say goodbye to childish things. I turn 18 in three days, after all.
Christ. It feels like the end of an era, doesn't it?
Why do I pose questions to my journal?
Why do I even have in a journal?
Because I need to pour my Cracked Head thoughts somewhere, I guess.
What I like about you, baby
Thursday, January 1
Well, it's a new year. I'm still missing Mia. At least I got an email from her though. She replied to my last and it was sent in the morning. She said she would rather be in Boca with me listening to Ricky Martin than where she is, especially today when she has only a tour of the Royal Genovian General Hospital to look forward to. She said people, especially "Grandmere," are still giving her a hard time about the parking meter thing. Her dad likes the idea for the parking meters, but not her mode of introducing the subject. She kind of strayed a bit from the speech that had been prepared for her "formal introduction" to the Genovian populace. Hey, I think it rocks that she isn't just going to recite what others give her to say. She thinks for herself. That's one of the (well, many) things I love about her.
Things MM loves about MT
Well, it's a new year. I'm still missing Mia. At least I got an email from her though. She replied to my last and it was sent in the morning. She said she would rather be in Boca with me listening to Ricky Martin than where she is, especially today when she has only a tour of the Royal Genovian General Hospital to look forward to. She said people, especially "Grandmere," are still giving her a hard time about the parking meter thing. Her dad likes the idea for the parking meters, but not her mode of introducing the subject. She kind of strayed a bit from the speech that had been prepared for her "formal introduction" to the Genovian populace. Hey, I think it rocks that she isn't just going to recite what others give her to say. She thinks for herself. That's one of the (well, many) things I love about her.
Things MM loves about MT
- Her height
- Her laugh
- Her lips
- Her talkativeness
- The always writing in her diary thing
- The love she harbors for her cat, Fat Louie
- Just the fact that her cat is called Fat Louie
- Her screen name being Ftlouie
- Her passionate advocacy of the Greenpeace movement
- When she stands up to my annoying sister (that was so cool when she told Lilly to shut up!!!! Hell yeah!!!!)
- The fire alarm thing (yeah, I'm like 99% sure that was her!)
- Her Lana Weinberger impression. It's spot on! "Spot on"? Geez. Why am I using the expression of one of the Queen's subjects?
- The vegetarian thing (I could never do that, so I have to admire her for it.)
- Her Lana-phone-crushing Doc Martins (damn, she rocks! I mean, Mia, not Lana. Lana sucks.... yeah, sucks Josh's face. Anyone who can suck Josh's face, and be mean to the sweetest girl on Earth, so doesn't rock.)
- The way she turns red and gets all embarrassed when she lifts her beautiful eyes to mine.
- Oh yeah, her eyes too. I had no idea the color grey could be so....... exciting! Enticing! Radiant!
- That pipe dream she entertains about turning the Genovian castle into an animal shelter! Admirable and sweet, like her, but whatever! DREAM ON!!!!
- That she threw an eggplant out of Lilly's bedroom window. OK, actually, I didn't like that too much. I mean, she could have hurt someone and gotten into trouble, but I blame Lilly for daring her to do it more than I blame my girl for caving to the peer pressure. And it WAS really nice to slip my arm around her waist and pull her down below the window.
- The way she smells. Like soap. And I guess vanilla scented lotion.
- Her appreciation of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
- " " " Baywatch
- " " " Lifetime Movie Channel (if it was anyone else, it would be slightly nauseating)
- Her obsession with Beauty and the Beast (corny, but forgivable, in her case)
A Very New Year Ahead
Wednesday, December 31
I've never been big on the whole New Year's thing. I mean, it's just a marker for the new calendar year. But I have to admit that this year I am kind of excited about it because this year I have a girlfriend. A real girlfriend. And not just any girlfriend. MIA!!!!!!! My Mia!!!!!! Need I say more?
And yeah it sucks that I can't kiss her at midnight. But I can think about her. I can dream about her. The best part is that I don't have to feel perverted or weird anymore for doing just that. Because, as far as I know, it's perfectly acceptable for a guy to dream about his girlfriend. Even if said girlfriend is his annoying sister's best friend. Even if he's a senior and she's a freshmen. And he is going off to college next fall.
Which is another great thing about the new year. I got accepted to my first-choice school, Columbia, Early Decision. Bye bye, Albert Einstein High School. Good riddance. There is nothing about AEHS that I will miss. Except Mia.
Shit. Judith Gershner just IMed me, wishing me a Happy New Year. She's a perfect example of what I WON'T miss about AEHS. Unfortunately, I won't be so lucky to get away from the Gershner. She got accepted to Columbia, Early Decision too. That blows. I mean, really blows. Because even though she's dating some dude from Trinity, she is always flirting with me, and ever since we fooled around that one time in the computer lab (on the Saturday before the winter carnival, because we were alone putting the finishing touches on the computer program for said carnival) she seems to think it's OK to wink and rub against me suggestively. God, I hope she never does that shit in front of Mia. Seriously, even the Gershner can't be that clueless, to flirt with me in front of my girlfriend. She is now IMing question marks and going, "WTF Moscovitz? You there or what?" So I guess I have to chat with her. I am grateful that I'm not a virgin anymore, because what guy wants to go off to college as a virgin, but I wish my first time hadn't been with the Gershner. Why couldn't it have been with Mia? I'll tell you why: Because Mia was dating Kenny (damn Showalter) and it was just before I found out it was Mia sending me those cute cards. Mia, what are doing right now? Thinking of me? Sleeping? The Sleeping Beauty. Hope she's dreaming about me. And that I look good in those dreams.
I've never been big on the whole New Year's thing. I mean, it's just a marker for the new calendar year. But I have to admit that this year I am kind of excited about it because this year I have a girlfriend. A real girlfriend. And not just any girlfriend. MIA!!!!!!! My Mia!!!!!! Need I say more?
And yeah it sucks that I can't kiss her at midnight. But I can think about her. I can dream about her. The best part is that I don't have to feel perverted or weird anymore for doing just that. Because, as far as I know, it's perfectly acceptable for a guy to dream about his girlfriend. Even if said girlfriend is his annoying sister's best friend. Even if he's a senior and she's a freshmen. And he is going off to college next fall.
Which is another great thing about the new year. I got accepted to my first-choice school, Columbia, Early Decision. Bye bye, Albert Einstein High School. Good riddance. There is nothing about AEHS that I will miss. Except Mia.
Shit. Judith Gershner just IMed me, wishing me a Happy New Year. She's a perfect example of what I WON'T miss about AEHS. Unfortunately, I won't be so lucky to get away from the Gershner. She got accepted to Columbia, Early Decision too. That blows. I mean, really blows. Because even though she's dating some dude from Trinity, she is always flirting with me, and ever since we fooled around that one time in the computer lab (on the Saturday before the winter carnival, because we were alone putting the finishing touches on the computer program for said carnival) she seems to think it's OK to wink and rub against me suggestively. God, I hope she never does that shit in front of Mia. Seriously, even the Gershner can't be that clueless, to flirt with me in front of my girlfriend. She is now IMing question marks and going, "WTF Moscovitz? You there or what?" So I guess I have to chat with her. I am grateful that I'm not a virgin anymore, because what guy wants to go off to college as a virgin, but I wish my first time hadn't been with the Gershner. Why couldn't it have been with Mia? I'll tell you why: Because Mia was dating Kenny (damn Showalter) and it was just before I found out it was Mia sending me those cute cards. Mia, what are doing right now? Thinking of me? Sleeping? The Sleeping Beauty. Hope she's dreaming about me. And that I look good in those dreams.
How do I declare my love for my OTL?
Wednesday, December 31
I missed Mia's call again. I was forced to attend my grandparents' "New Years' Eve bash" at the community center. A whole night of pretending to like Ricky Martin. Ugh. When we got home, there was a message from Mia. I ran to my computer and started typing out a message to email to her. I was hoping to connect with her on AIM, but of course, there was no such luck! So I just wrote:
I missed Mia's call again. I was forced to attend my grandparents' "New Years' Eve bash" at the community center. A whole night of pretending to like Ricky Martin. Ugh. When we got home, there was a message from Mia. I ran to my computer and started typing out a message to email to her. I was hoping to connect with her on AIM, but of course, there was no such luck! So I just wrote:
Mia, sorry to have missed your call. I was @ my grandparents' retirement complex's New Year's bash (they played Ricky Martin and thought they were on the cutting edge). Didn't you get my message? Well, anyway, happy New Year and I really miss you and all of that.
P.S. Are they keeping you locked in a tower over there or what? Because even prisoners get phone privileges. Am I going to have to come to Genovia and climb up your hair to get you out or something?
I know the bit about climbing up her hair was idiotic. I wanted to tell her I loved her, but somehow I felt weird. Emailing my love? I don't know. I got freaked out at the thought of some flunky pre-screening her email. I can only hope that she knows my "and all of that" equates love. Who knows if she will even see it? I saw a press release on the Royal Genovian Website, quoting a speech she delivered to the Genovian public, via television. It accompanied a photo of her with a diamond and amethyst tiara on her head. She was so beautiful in that picture!!!!!!!! On Google News, there were a lot of articles about Mia suggesting that Genovia should incorporate parking meters along its coast, to charge the influx of tourists for the privilege of enjoying the pristine beaches. Apparently, she mentioned this idea while addressing the Geneovian public, via TV, in her first official address to the Genovian public. There has been a mixed response. Some officials, like the Genovian minister of finance, think her suggestion is a stroke of genius. But others, like the minister of tourism, hate the idea of the parking meters because they fear that charging for parking could be a deterrent to the daytrippers. I happen to agree with Mia when she pointed out that the daytrippers are causing more damage than doing any good for Genovia. But maybe I'm a little biased. She is my girlfriend, after all. Hell yeah! She is my girlfriend! Woohoo!!!! Mia Thermopolis is my girlfriend! I feel like doing somersaults. I feel like going surfing. Except I don't surf.
Left MSG for Mia
Tuesday, December 30, the condo, on the balcony
Called the Royal "Palais de Genovia" and tried to be connected to Mia. I gave the switchboard operator my name and was told that "Her Royal Highness" was unavailable. So I left a message, slightly longer than my first one. Then, I was so intimidated, I just said "Hi." But this time I managed to say: "Miss you, will try to call at bonne nuit." I meant New Years' Eve but I think I screwed it up. My French sucks. I realized almost as soon as I hung up that "bonne nuit" means "good night" so my message doesn't make any sense. "Bonne nuit" is not a time!!!! I can only hope that she understands that I meant to say I would call on New Year's Eve.
Got some hate mail in response to my expose of the Microsoft/Bill Gates feudal empire. Some of it was from advertisers. Here we go. The repercussions of criticizing His Imperial Highness Bill Gates! His minions are closing ranks! It looks like I, amateur Michael Moscovitz, am destined for battle against the giant.
Called the Royal "Palais de Genovia" and tried to be connected to Mia. I gave the switchboard operator my name and was told that "Her Royal Highness" was unavailable. So I left a message, slightly longer than my first one. Then, I was so intimidated, I just said "Hi." But this time I managed to say: "Miss you, will try to call at bonne nuit." I meant New Years' Eve but I think I screwed it up. My French sucks. I realized almost as soon as I hung up that "bonne nuit" means "good night" so my message doesn't make any sense. "Bonne nuit" is not a time!!!! I can only hope that she understands that I meant to say I would call on New Year's Eve.
Got some hate mail in response to my expose of the Microsoft/Bill Gates feudal empire. Some of it was from advertisers. Here we go. The repercussions of criticizing His Imperial Highness Bill Gates! His minions are closing ranks! It looks like I, amateur Michael Moscovitz, am destined for battle against the giant.
FINALLY SPOKE TO MIA!!!!
Thursday, December 25, bedroom
Today was the eighth and final day of Hanukkah. It was Christmas Day for Mia and her family. She called and I was home to receive that call for a change!!!! Unfortunately, my grandparents, parents, and sister were all in the room trying to pretend as though they were not listening to me!!!! I think Mia was similarly circumstanced. I could hear her grandmother laughing in the background, asking a servant (I guess) to refill her Sidecar. Mia said her dad was in the room as well, and also some cousin, Prince/princess? Somebody. Rene? Whatever. Mia said she didn't get anything good for xmas, just a datebook from the Dowager Princess Clarisse and a scepter from the Genovian people. She wanted a cell phone. I wanted a cell phone for her. So she could call me anytime. But there was no cell phone. I hoped her mom, at least, would come through with the phone. I mean, Mia's mom is totally modern and liberal. I think she (Mia's mom) even campaigned for Howard Dean. Anyway, it was so great to hear Mia's voice again. It was depressing to say good night and return the phone on its cradle. Lilly kept looking at me after I rejoined the family. At one point, she asked, "How is Mia?" I was like, "She's great," and Lilly interpreted this as an invitation to probe for details: Like what kind of presents had she received, and what was it like to be waited on hand and foot in the ancient royal palace of a small European principality? I just said I wouldn't know and neither would Mia because, contrary to popular belief, Mia is working her butt off in Genovia!
Today was the eighth and final day of Hanukkah. It was Christmas Day for Mia and her family. She called and I was home to receive that call for a change!!!! Unfortunately, my grandparents, parents, and sister were all in the room trying to pretend as though they were not listening to me!!!! I think Mia was similarly circumstanced. I could hear her grandmother laughing in the background, asking a servant (I guess) to refill her Sidecar. Mia said her dad was in the room as well, and also some cousin, Prince/princess? Somebody. Rene? Whatever. Mia said she didn't get anything good for xmas, just a datebook from the Dowager Princess Clarisse and a scepter from the Genovian people. She wanted a cell phone. I wanted a cell phone for her. So she could call me anytime. But there was no cell phone. I hoped her mom, at least, would come through with the phone. I mean, Mia's mom is totally modern and liberal. I think she (Mia's mom) even campaigned for Howard Dean. Anyway, it was so great to hear Mia's voice again. It was depressing to say good night and return the phone on its cradle. Lilly kept looking at me after I rejoined the family. At one point, she asked, "How is Mia?" I was like, "She's great," and Lilly interpreted this as an invitation to probe for details: Like what kind of presents had she received, and what was it like to be waited on hand and foot in the ancient royal palace of a small European principality? I just said I wouldn't know and neither would Mia because, contrary to popular belief, Mia is working her butt off in Genovia!
Seventh day of Hanukkah
Wednesday, December 24, the condo, my room
Mom and Dad gave me a color printer. That was the best thing I have gotten this year. It's cool. It is a laser color printer.
They can't give me what I really want. Mia.
Mia Thermopolis Renaldo, Princess of Genovia.
Lilly is extremely annoying (more than usual) with her obsession about the upcoming Mia movie. She doesn't like the actress they got to play her. She laughs at me because, she says, the guy who plays me is a "hottie" ("unlike you," she says, "but it's Hollywood so every guy has to be a hottie") but the guy who plays Josh Richter is apparently a "dreamboat." Whatever. I seriously don't know what girls mean when they talk about "hotties" and "dreamboats."
Mia is hot. I know that much.
Mia is hot.
Lilly is not.
Mia is my girl.
Lil makes my stomach curl.
Josh is an ass.
I think I just passed gas.
I guess Mia is a dreamboat too.
Though I don't really know what a dreamboat is supposed to be.
I know I like it when I have dreams about Mia.
Which is all the time.
And it's great.
But not as great as having her in my arms.
Mom and Dad gave me a color printer. That was the best thing I have gotten this year. It's cool. It is a laser color printer.
They can't give me what I really want. Mia.
Mia Thermopolis Renaldo, Princess of Genovia.
Lilly is extremely annoying (more than usual) with her obsession about the upcoming Mia movie. She doesn't like the actress they got to play her. She laughs at me because, she says, the guy who plays me is a "hottie" ("unlike you," she says, "but it's Hollywood so every guy has to be a hottie") but the guy who plays Josh Richter is apparently a "dreamboat." Whatever. I seriously don't know what girls mean when they talk about "hotties" and "dreamboats."
Mia is hot. I know that much.
Mia is hot.
Lilly is not.
Mia is my girl.
Lil makes my stomach curl.
Josh is an ass.
I think I just passed gas.
I guess Mia is a dreamboat too.
Though I don't really know what a dreamboat is supposed to be.
I know I like it when I have dreams about Mia.
Which is all the time.
And it's great.
But not as great as having her in my arms.
11.27.2010
Screen saver Princess of my Heart
Tuesday, December 23, Boca condo, my bedroom
Lilly is flipped out over the made-for-TV movie about Mia. It airs on Jan. 10. Lilly wants to tape it. I don't know why she is so freaked out about it. She says that I should be freaked too because both of us, me and Lilly, are in the story. Honestly, I'm not the least bit curious. The movie looks dumb and the girl they got to play Mia doesn't even look like her. She's not bad looking or deformed or anything, but she's not Mia. Why do I want to waste time watching some lame attempt to profit from the life of the most fantastic girl in the world? Mia is a goddess. People just need to get used to it and stop trying to "figure" her out or something. You can't imitate a goddess. You just can't.
She was in the AP press releases again today. My girl told some dignitary at a luncheon, or breakfast thing, that the current drought in the Mediterranean region is "the pits." It was a breakfast she and her grandmother, the Dowager Princess Clarisse, were hosting for the Genovian Olive Growers Association. The article made it seem like the members of the GOGA were offended, but I think it was very sweet of her! She was trying to be sympathetic to their plight. I mean, the drought is hurting the olive crop and she was just being the kind, compassionate person that she naturally is. There was another photo of her. I saved it to my desktop. I had to cut her scary grandmother from the picture, though, but once I cropped it so that it's only a pic of Mia, of my beautiful Mia, I made it the background on my desktop. This process inspired me to create a Mia Screensaver. I'm not too happy with it but I got tired of messing with it, so it will have to do for now. Besides, there is nothing that makes me smile more than seeing Mia's lovely face floating all over my computer screen whenever I'm idle for too long. I should add a scrolling caption: Princess Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Moscovitz Renaldo. I'm determined that Mia and I will be married someday. Of course, she won't be Mrs. Michael Moscovitz, but I think our combined surnames work rather well together. I suppose her dad will have to make me a Prince of the Blood Royal or something, HRH Michael Moscovitz Renaldo, or whatever. We'll be like the Elizabeth and Philip of the XXI century. Prince Philip is cool. He's seriously into environmental issues and all the cutting edge research in science. He also has a strong personality and a reputation for saying what needs to be said, even if it is politically incorrect or offensive. He is also fiercely loyal to, and protective of his wife, who is also his queen. Mia is my queen. My princess. The queen of my heart. Queen of Hearts. Mia, where art thou? I miss her voice, her face, her lips, her smell! It was cruel. Just as we come together, declaring our love for each other, we were ripped apart!
OK. I need to get a grip. I want to publish the latest issue for Crackhead by the end of the week. Paul from the computer club thinks I'm crazy to publish the piece on Windows, but I don't care. Someone has to stand up to Bill Gates and call his Microsoft empire what it is: a monopoly and a bully!
Lilly is flipped out over the made-for-TV movie about Mia. It airs on Jan. 10. Lilly wants to tape it. I don't know why she is so freaked out about it. She says that I should be freaked too because both of us, me and Lilly, are in the story. Honestly, I'm not the least bit curious. The movie looks dumb and the girl they got to play Mia doesn't even look like her. She's not bad looking or deformed or anything, but she's not Mia. Why do I want to waste time watching some lame attempt to profit from the life of the most fantastic girl in the world? Mia is a goddess. People just need to get used to it and stop trying to "figure" her out or something. You can't imitate a goddess. You just can't.
She was in the AP press releases again today. My girl told some dignitary at a luncheon, or breakfast thing, that the current drought in the Mediterranean region is "the pits." It was a breakfast she and her grandmother, the Dowager Princess Clarisse, were hosting for the Genovian Olive Growers Association. The article made it seem like the members of the GOGA were offended, but I think it was very sweet of her! She was trying to be sympathetic to their plight. I mean, the drought is hurting the olive crop and she was just being the kind, compassionate person that she naturally is. There was another photo of her. I saved it to my desktop. I had to cut her scary grandmother from the picture, though, but once I cropped it so that it's only a pic of Mia, of my beautiful Mia, I made it the background on my desktop. This process inspired me to create a Mia Screensaver. I'm not too happy with it but I got tired of messing with it, so it will have to do for now. Besides, there is nothing that makes me smile more than seeing Mia's lovely face floating all over my computer screen whenever I'm idle for too long. I should add a scrolling caption: Princess Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Moscovitz Renaldo. I'm determined that Mia and I will be married someday. Of course, she won't be Mrs. Michael Moscovitz, but I think our combined surnames work rather well together. I suppose her dad will have to make me a Prince of the Blood Royal or something, HRH Michael Moscovitz Renaldo, or whatever. We'll be like the Elizabeth and Philip of the XXI century. Prince Philip is cool. He's seriously into environmental issues and all the cutting edge research in science. He also has a strong personality and a reputation for saying what needs to be said, even if it is politically incorrect or offensive. He is also fiercely loyal to, and protective of his wife, who is also his queen. Mia is my queen. My princess. The queen of my heart. Queen of Hearts. Mia, where art thou? I miss her voice, her face, her lips, her smell! It was cruel. Just as we come together, declaring our love for each other, we were ripped apart!
OK. I need to get a grip. I want to publish the latest issue for Crackhead by the end of the week. Paul from the computer club thinks I'm crazy to publish the piece on Windows, but I don't care. Someone has to stand up to Bill Gates and call his Microsoft empire what it is: a monopoly and a bully!
Gramps & his stinky foot powder!
Monday, December 22, Boca condo, my bedroom
If it weren't for having to Walgreens to pick up my grandpa's Rx foot powder, I would have spoken to Mia today. It happened after breakfast. Really, it's not even his fault. Grandpa didn't even know it was ready to be picked up. It was Nana who remembered, thanks to her scarily perfect organizational system of notes. Nana has this elaborate system of post-it notes all over the house and in her datebook. She keeps track of everything. I mean, everything!!!! She has Lily's and my dental appointments annotated in her precious book that she carries with her everywhere, all the time. So it is no big surprise to me that she has Grandpa's schedule of Rx refills carefully annotated. But she was going to pick it up herself. Mom had to say, in that annoyingly cheery voice of hers, "Oh Nana, don't sweat it! Michael can pick it up for Dad, can't you, Michael?" I started to protest, but stopped dead in my tracks when she turned her murderous glare on me. "Sure I can," I said, all defeated. No problem. It's not like I don't have a webzine to maintain, a girlfriend to think about, or anything! The worst part is that while I was out picking up the damn foot powder, MIA CALLED!!!!!!!!!!! I get home and Nana was like, "Oh sweetie, thank you. By the way, Mia called. She's such a darling. It's too bad she's not Jewish." Geez!!!!!!!! I can't believe my rotten luck. Mia called!! My Mia!! I missed the chance to hear her sweet voice, and not for something cool like an Indiana Jones movie marathon on the SciFi channel. For foot powder!!!!!!!! Of course, I'd be bummed for missing Mia's call no matter what, even if it was an Indiana Jones movie marathon. Gramps and Nana don't even have the SciFi channel. Which reminds me that I have to talk to them about that.
So I went online, hoping to see the best, sweetest screen name (Ftlouie) on my AIM buddy list. She wasn't online (not really a big surprise, I mean, she's busy doing princess stuff and everything) but Paul (from the computer club) was online, so I talked to him about stuff. We mostly talked about how much Windows XP sucks and how much Linux rocks. Then he mentioned Mia. He said there was a trailer on TV for the movie version of Mia's life. All fourteen years of it. I did a google search on Mia and apparently the made-for-TV movie is called "American Princess" or whatever. There was also a news story from Associated Press about Mia on some naval cruiser in Genovia's port. There was a picture. She was so cute. Damn, I miss her. Anyway, I guess she tripped over the anchor chain or something. It's no wonder why. She should know better than to wear five-inch heels on a ship! But it was worse than just embarrassing because she knocked over some admiral and he fell overboard and the crew had to fish him out of the water with a harpoon. There was a quote from Mia. She said it was a pity that the Genovian tourist traffic was generating a deplorable amount of littering, which is threatening the welfare of the porpoises and the other life forms in the sea. That's my girl! Always conscious of the environmental and social issues!
If it weren't for having to Walgreens to pick up my grandpa's Rx foot powder, I would have spoken to Mia today. It happened after breakfast. Really, it's not even his fault. Grandpa didn't even know it was ready to be picked up. It was Nana who remembered, thanks to her scarily perfect organizational system of notes. Nana has this elaborate system of post-it notes all over the house and in her datebook. She keeps track of everything. I mean, everything!!!! She has Lily's and my dental appointments annotated in her precious book that she carries with her everywhere, all the time. So it is no big surprise to me that she has Grandpa's schedule of Rx refills carefully annotated. But she was going to pick it up herself. Mom had to say, in that annoyingly cheery voice of hers, "Oh Nana, don't sweat it! Michael can pick it up for Dad, can't you, Michael?" I started to protest, but stopped dead in my tracks when she turned her murderous glare on me. "Sure I can," I said, all defeated. No problem. It's not like I don't have a webzine to maintain, a girlfriend to think about, or anything! The worst part is that while I was out picking up the damn foot powder, MIA CALLED!!!!!!!!!!! I get home and Nana was like, "Oh sweetie, thank you. By the way, Mia called. She's such a darling. It's too bad she's not Jewish." Geez!!!!!!!! I can't believe my rotten luck. Mia called!! My Mia!! I missed the chance to hear her sweet voice, and not for something cool like an Indiana Jones movie marathon on the SciFi channel. For foot powder!!!!!!!! Of course, I'd be bummed for missing Mia's call no matter what, even if it was an Indiana Jones movie marathon. Gramps and Nana don't even have the SciFi channel. Which reminds me that I have to talk to them about that.
So I went online, hoping to see the best, sweetest screen name (Ftlouie) on my AIM buddy list. She wasn't online (not really a big surprise, I mean, she's busy doing princess stuff and everything) but Paul (from the computer club) was online, so I talked to him about stuff. We mostly talked about how much Windows XP sucks and how much Linux rocks. Then he mentioned Mia. He said there was a trailer on TV for the movie version of Mia's life. All fourteen years of it. I did a google search on Mia and apparently the made-for-TV movie is called "American Princess" or whatever. There was also a news story from Associated Press about Mia on some naval cruiser in Genovia's port. There was a picture. She was so cute. Damn, I miss her. Anyway, I guess she tripped over the anchor chain or something. It's no wonder why. She should know better than to wear five-inch heels on a ship! But it was worse than just embarrassing because she knocked over some admiral and he fell overboard and the crew had to fish him out of the water with a harpoon. There was a quote from Mia. She said it was a pity that the Genovian tourist traffic was generating a deplorable amount of littering, which is threatening the welfare of the porpoises and the other life forms in the sea. That's my girl! Always conscious of the environmental and social issues!
It wasn't her trying to call, or was it?
Sunday, December 21, late, my bedroom in Boca
Well, I called the stupid bingo numbers to the old folks and they just ate it up. They were all smiling and saying how "nice" it was to have a "nice young man" like me hosting the bingo night for a change. I'm glad they enjoyed it, because despite my perpetual fake smiles, I really did not. I just kept thinking of one word over and over, the whole time. Just one word. The most beautiful word, well name, in the English language. Can you guess? Three little letters. Three lovely little letters.
M
I
A
Oh yeah! And what do you suppose was happening @ the condo while we were all living it up at Bingo Nite? the phone was ringing.
Yes. The phone. Ringing.
Someone definitely tried to call the condo tonight. But whoever it was, they didn't leave a message. The Caller ID said UNKNOWN. It could have been ANYONE! It could have been MIA!!!!!!!
Geez. That is so annoying. I could have been talking to Mia instead of calling bingo numbers. I'm so depressed.
Well, I called the stupid bingo numbers to the old folks and they just ate it up. They were all smiling and saying how "nice" it was to have a "nice young man" like me hosting the bingo night for a change. I'm glad they enjoyed it, because despite my perpetual fake smiles, I really did not. I just kept thinking of one word over and over, the whole time. Just one word. The most beautiful word, well name, in the English language. Can you guess? Three little letters. Three lovely little letters.
M
I
A
Oh yeah! And what do you suppose was happening @ the condo while we were all living it up at Bingo Nite? the phone was ringing.
Yes. The phone. Ringing.
Someone definitely tried to call the condo tonight. But whoever it was, they didn't leave a message. The Caller ID said UNKNOWN. It could have been ANYONE! It could have been MIA!!!!!!!
Geez. That is so annoying. I could have been talking to Mia instead of calling bingo numbers. I'm so depressed.
She loves me and I wish I could sleep!
Sunday, December 21, evening (Boca Raton, Florida; grandparents' condo, my bedroom)
It has now been one full day since I last saw Mia. Can I just say that it thoroughly sucks when you have never had a girlfriend (well, unless you count Judith Gershner, which I don't) and then suddenly you get the girlfriend of your dreams (your BEST dreams) and what happens? You are ripped away from that girlfriend almost right away and forced to go on winter vacation at your grandparents' beach condo in Florida, while said girlfriend jets off to spend the Christmas holidays on the French/Italian Riviera and be introduced to the public over whom she will someday rule!!!! OK, I know I'm not making any sense. You're just going to have to cut me some slack. The thing is, I haven't slept since that heavenly night when I told Mia that I love her as she loves me. She freaking loves me!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy crap!!!!!!!!! Oh my god, Mia loves me. Whoa. My head is spinning. Actually, that could have something to do with the fact that I haven't slept. Or that Mia loves me.
She loves me.
She loves me.
My Mia loves me.
She is a really excellent kisser. Which is surprising because I'm pretty sure she was a French-kissing virgin. Unless she French kissed Josh Richter. Ugh. Josh Richter sucks. Wait, he did kiss her. He is unworthy of her. Beautiful, sweet, perfect Mia. But he did kiss her. It was all over the newspapers in the days after the Cultural Diversity Dance.
Oh and Kenny. Yeah. Kenny Showalter. Punk. He kissed her too. I think. I don't actually know if he kissed her. I only saw him try to kiss her and her sort of turning her cheek. Ha! Serves him right for trying to kiss those luscious royal lips, and in front of people too! If there is one thing that annoys me, it's PDA. What did Mia see in Kenny? Geez. What did she see in Richter? What does she see in me?
Why am I writing about Josh Richter and Kenny Showalter in my journal? Who cares about those idiots? I surely don't!
Why do I even keep a journal? Oh yeah. This is supposed to be a daily chronicle of my work on Crackhead. I'm supposed to be working on an expose of how Bill Gates lords over the entire software industry like a feudal king, monopolizing all the resources with his Microsoft Windows empire.
I wonder what Mia is doing right now. What time is it in Genovia anyway?
OK. Google informs me that Genovia time is the same as Paris (GMT+1) and they are six hours ahead of EST. So it's like ten over there. Is she dancing at some gala, with a prince or a diplomat, or the president of Nigeria? Or has she retired to the royal bedchamber?
All right. It's official. I've lost my mind. I need sleep. But I can't sleep yet. My mom is calling for me to get out there and join them at my grandparents' community center. It's bingo night and I stupidly got suckered into committing to call the numbers "at least for one round". Who goes to Boca Raton to play bingo? Who???? Hell, who goes to Boca Raton to call bingo numbers to his grandparents and their friends? I wish I was in the Royal Genovian Bedchamber..... with Mia. Haha. Like that's going to happen! In your dreams, Moscovitz!
It has now been one full day since I last saw Mia. Can I just say that it thoroughly sucks when you have never had a girlfriend (well, unless you count Judith Gershner, which I don't) and then suddenly you get the girlfriend of your dreams (your BEST dreams) and what happens? You are ripped away from that girlfriend almost right away and forced to go on winter vacation at your grandparents' beach condo in Florida, while said girlfriend jets off to spend the Christmas holidays on the French/Italian Riviera and be introduced to the public over whom she will someday rule!!!! OK, I know I'm not making any sense. You're just going to have to cut me some slack. The thing is, I haven't slept since that heavenly night when I told Mia that I love her as she loves me. She freaking loves me!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy crap!!!!!!!!! Oh my god, Mia loves me. Whoa. My head is spinning. Actually, that could have something to do with the fact that I haven't slept. Or that Mia loves me.
She loves me.
She loves me.
My Mia loves me.
She is a really excellent kisser. Which is surprising because I'm pretty sure she was a French-kissing virgin. Unless she French kissed Josh Richter. Ugh. Josh Richter sucks. Wait, he did kiss her. He is unworthy of her. Beautiful, sweet, perfect Mia. But he did kiss her. It was all over the newspapers in the days after the Cultural Diversity Dance.
Oh and Kenny. Yeah. Kenny Showalter. Punk. He kissed her too. I think. I don't actually know if he kissed her. I only saw him try to kiss her and her sort of turning her cheek. Ha! Serves him right for trying to kiss those luscious royal lips, and in front of people too! If there is one thing that annoys me, it's PDA. What did Mia see in Kenny? Geez. What did she see in Richter? What does she see in me?
Why am I writing about Josh Richter and Kenny Showalter in my journal? Who cares about those idiots? I surely don't!
Why do I even keep a journal? Oh yeah. This is supposed to be a daily chronicle of my work on Crackhead. I'm supposed to be working on an expose of how Bill Gates lords over the entire software industry like a feudal king, monopolizing all the resources with his Microsoft Windows empire.
I wonder what Mia is doing right now. What time is it in Genovia anyway?
OK. Google informs me that Genovia time is the same as Paris (GMT+1) and they are six hours ahead of EST. So it's like ten over there. Is she dancing at some gala, with a prince or a diplomat, or the president of Nigeria? Or has she retired to the royal bedchamber?
All right. It's official. I've lost my mind. I need sleep. But I can't sleep yet. My mom is calling for me to get out there and join them at my grandparents' community center. It's bingo night and I stupidly got suckered into committing to call the numbers "at least for one round". Who goes to Boca Raton to play bingo? Who???? Hell, who goes to Boca Raton to call bingo numbers to his grandparents and their friends? I wish I was in the Royal Genovian Bedchamber..... with Mia. Haha. Like that's going to happen! In your dreams, Moscovitz!
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